Dear bestie.

Dear bestie,

The soft, consistent beating in my chest reminds me you are there, you are listening.

The feeling of the tender rise and fall of your ancient rhythm affirms all we have been through together. The times you didn't fail me, the finish lines we have crossed together, the deep, rhythmic breath work, the sleepless nights we have endured with one another, the twisting, the turning upside down, the contraction and extension, the miles we have run together, the moments I refused to listen to you. Yet, you never gave up on me.

The years I ignored you, and the years I believed you were the enemy. The profound hatred I have subjected you to and hurled in your direction.

I’m sorry. For the those younger years of fast food and diet pop, the binging and purging, the continuous stream of insults and injury, the never good-enough-ness, the hate, the hate, the never-ending hate. I’m sorry for all that and everything else I am not ready to write here.

But I know you are still here for me. Anyway.

The way you always heal even when I choose to ignore you is your act of love towards me. The times you try to gently warn me, get my attention, ask to be heard. The way you expand and contract when I breathe deeply tells me that no matter what, you are my most devoted friend. You are with me and for me. We are stuck together, me and you.

Your dedication to returning to wholeness over and over inspires me. Your continual commitment to “begin again” lifts me up. Literally in every moment your cells are starting over - you are like the super hero of begin again! When I see how strong you are, I am motivated to keep going. Thank you friend.

I am determined to show up for you the way you show up for me. Caring for you in the most delicate way with so much attention and grace, getting you what you need to be at your best. Listening to you with the intent to understand versus interrupting you with my complaints.

Feeding you good, nourishing food, thoughts and kindness. I am committed to helping us heal in all of the ways.

I know you love me and I love you back. Thank you body, for not giving up on me and for being my bestie 💛